tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256591054776364849.post8763655662080079635..comments2022-03-09T22:55:41.821-08:00Comments on Do you hear an echo?: Real vs. fake vs. semi real?mygirlboutique@gmail.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08353760497577656742noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5256591054776364849.post-10662612484981284572008-11-20T18:37:00.000-08:002008-11-20T18:37:00.000-08:00Wow. I honestly hadn't given any thought to the wh...Wow. I honestly hadn't given any thought to the whole "while you are pregnant, this is what the grandparents like to do" part of the equation. I know a lot that touching/kissing/talking to the belly is cultural. You'd NEVER see that kind of hands-on interaction in an asian household. And my parents are way too uptight and would never have touched me if I didn't invite them to (even then, I would only have asked my mother if she wanted to feel the baby kick). Obviously if they have other grandkids, Frank isn't their only child. So maybe they've gotten some of that hands-on interaction out of their system with their other kids. <BR/><BR/>I can tell you this...no WAY would I want my in-laws grabbing me or putting their ears against me or talking to my belly. It would make me feel wildly uncomfortable. LOL But you know that never became an issue with us. <BR/><BR/>As for the distinction between methods of starting your family...it's only needed during the process. Once the baby arrives, they are just your child. There is no label! It doesn't matter how a family forms. There are so many ways to start a family these days, and you three are already a new family unit by marriage. If you want Frank's parents to bond with Sarah, then they need to be treated like her grands and given the opportunity to get to know her. If they are anything like my in-laws, they will wait to be asked and feel slighted until that invitation is extended. Look how old my kids are and I am still figuring this stuff out.<BR/><BR/>To be honest, I see no difference between you carrying a baby and someone else doing it. It's your egg/his sperm. Things only start to get dicey when donor egg or sperm enters the picture. We would have used a surrogate without hesitation if they'd been able to retrieve any eggs from me. <BR/><BR/>While having a bio-child would have been great, we always had adoption on the table. The boys will know that starting a family through adoption was the "hard" way. Hard because we had to wait so much longer to be a family than if my belly wasn't "broken". When you have to work hard for something, you tend to appreciate it more. That's our opinion anyway. LOL And no...we never go around introducing our kids as "this is my adopted son". Nor do we make that distinction in general conversation. If people press for a birth-story, I give them the highlights. Yes, there is a ton of curiosity around adoption and surrogacy (thanks to the media) so you get some rather personal questions at times. I am very careful what I say in front of the boys and will include Tyler's thoughts, if he wants to chime in. When it's adults only, I am very open about our story. When we set out to start a family, I never anticipated that I would become an advocate for adoption. But I find that I like the role and have helped a ton of people find the right path.<BR/><BR/>Anywho, I hope you don't have to fight against favoritism in the future. Work on those step-grands. Sarah has always struck me as smart and charming with a winning personality. They would have to be real jerks to NOT warm up to her.Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16689649366003513145noreply@blogger.com