Stamina

I started a circuit training/fitness class on Friday that lasts for 8 weeks. The first class tests your physical abilities and is designed to show you your progress at the end. I'm the youngest by two decades. Guess who was first up from the wall squats??? ding ding ding. At least I did the most pushups and had the best flexibility. Who knew my legs were so fickle?
I wonder if there is any correlation between the oxygenation of my cells and the meds I'm on. If my medication keeps my heart rate down, then the blood won't ever speed around picking up CO2 and depositing more oxygen. Hmmm, that sounds like an excuse to me.

I will just work around it. I already feel better, although I got a bug this weekend and am just getting ready to back to the gym for the first time since Friday.

S's teacher pulled me aside this morning and suggested I get her tested for some educational delays. :( I have had some niggling doubts for the last few months, but it's always hard to hear that something might be wrong with your kid. My vote is for visual processing issues. I don't think she actually processes what she sees correctly, because if you verbally say the letters she can read a word. It will be interesting to see what the testing shows.

I really want cookies and cake right now, my default eating pattern when I'm stressed. Instead I had chicken soup (made from the roasted chicken leftovers) and now apples dipped in plain yogurt with honey. MMMMMM. It's not cheesecake, but I'll live.

Too Much

Dad seems to have an infection. He's going back into surgery in an hour, they'll open up the incision and see if there's a pocket of infection or if there is more gangrene in the gut.

I'm picking S up in a few to take her to the pediatric dentist. Not looking forward to this.

Crossing fingers it's all going to be okay.

Monday, monday

Whew, am I glad the break is over. I don't think I could handle much more vacation time. Back to normal for all of us this week.

We did end up going to the New Year's Eve party. I'm glad we did. Our GS was of course very gracious and smart and must have given everyone a pre party talk about what should not be talked about. No one brought it up, no one acted weird, much fun was had and then the next morning off to the in laws for obligatory visit if we're in town.

Now we're home, laundry is done, food is shopped for, kitchen is clean, kid is at school, hubby at work. Ahhhhh that 20 minutes of bliss until I realize all the other things I have to do.

I'm closing my business until the CPSC gets it's act together and fixes the CPSIA. It's a bummer, but I don't see any other way I can legally be in business right now. All of our products are already produced, packaged and ready to go so I'm not really keen on sending off one of each print to get ruined in testing that we can't afford anyway. So, no more business for me, at least for 2009.

Hubby has an appointment with our GP this morning to get a scrip for another semen analysis and blood work. Hopefully the insurance will cover it. If not, we'll just keep making payments.

Now, off to help out in the classroom for a bit.

Karma,

Karma's a bitch. My guess is that the universe wants my partner to learn more and more what it's like to be me. The appointment for tomorrow was cancelled because the insurance won't pay for it. The coding was for male factor infertility from the SA, since our insurance covers NO infertility treatments they won't cover if the ICD 9 code isn't correct. So, I get to call insurance tomorrow and let them know about all the horrible things that could be the cause of the whacked out semenalysis and then do battle.
I'll probably have to have our GP refer under a different code. Generalized testicular anxiety is my preference.

Sarah's bday turned out great. We gave her an American Girl doll on her birthday. She was so surprised she cried. She said she didn't think we could afford something that big. She was so gracious. I am such a lucky mama. So far the doll has gone to sleep with her hair net on in her original box every night.

Her party was Saturday and we ended up with 23 people here. The chocolate covered peanut butter filled pretzels were the biggest hit, followed by the lemon cake and the candy sushi. I wish I had taken pictures of the sushi, it was really quite cute.

We did a mystery party for Detective Sarah and Frank stole the cake and put it in the dryer. We had a compass, magnifying glasses, a riddle and fingerprinting for each clue. The kids had a great time.

Not just a river in Egypt

So, we're clearly in denial over here. Not talking about it, not doing anything. F has an appointment on Tuesday to start figuring out what's going on. And there weren't exactly zero. There was one fragment. That means he must make some. Maybe. I've got my fingers crossed for a correctable blockage. And lots of narcotics for him.

Anyways, back to the denial I was talking about. Did you know if you go into the grocery store and buy:
Velveeta
Maxi pads
Swedish fish
Green fruit roll ups
Marshmallows
three whack em chocolate oranges
broccoli
garlic
cake flour
poppyseeds (originally typed as poopyseeds, har har)

The checkers don't even look at you weird.
I should have thrown some condoms in there for good measure. Oh, I slay me.

Sarah's birthday is tomorrow. She has requested lemon bars for at school and our neighbor's famous mac n cheese for dinner. Turns out our chef neighbor makes mac n cheese with velveeta. Here I was expecting a baked blue cheese gourmet treat and it's fakey fakey. I'm making candy sushi with the marshmallows, swedish fish and fruit rollups. And a lemon poppyseed cake for her party on Saturday. And, since I stopped the pill my period is here for the foreseeable future.

But hey, this marks 7 years since I went into heart failure, and I'm still here kicking and screaming.

Election Day

Have you voted yet? Starbucks and Krispy Kreme are offering freebies if you need some incentive.

I voted by absentee ballot, but today I went to the Democratic Headquarters in Solano to volunteer. I had my phone and charger, my bottle of water all ready to sit for a few hours and help. But alas, they were swamped with volunteers and didn't have a task for me. Who knew?

So I'm home instead, reading the paper, checking blogs, filling a few new orders (woohooo for people feeling better about the economy).

I have a yummy fun dinner planned that we will eat upstairs while watching election returns. I've got a bottle of champagne chilling and sparkling cider for Sarah.

I feel this is the most important election of my life to date. Possibly the most important election I will ever vote in. A true third party, centrist, female, minority candidate with a good chance of winning would be the only election in the next 40 years I could see trumping this one.

I am so proud to be able to say that America is ready. That the vast majority of Americans can look beyond race. I am proud to show Sarah a man who is like her, about to ascend to the Presidency of the United States. I hope my daughter grows up with the certainty that she can be whatever she wants, with role models who truly the reflect the diversity of America.

Yet, I am still disappointed by much I see in America today. When Sarah's dad and his girlfriend dropped off Sarah this weekend, they related an incident that happened at the restaurant here in town they had lunch at. (okay, crappy grammar, forgive me.) It seems the restaurant was almost empty, except for them and one other table of older white women. The white women kept moving across the room farther and farther away from them. The older women kept sending glances their way and whispering. It is despicable that this kind of fear and blatant racism still happens. A black couple with a young child eating lunch are the same as anyone else sitting and eating lunch. They aren't after your purse, your wallet, your life. They are eating lunch with their child. End of story. Get over your own fear and be respectful.

I remember those kinds of things happening often when I was married to Chris. I guess I had hoped that having a child around might temper people's responses. My bad for believing the best of people eh?

Halloween Pictures

Our Next President

The kids with all the pumpkins. Frank did "Pumpkin π" har har

Cowgirl Sarah

Sarah and her teacher, the Werewolf of London on the school costume parade.
They walked across the schoolyard, over the pedestrian bridge and down to the waterfront. Can I just say how much I love living here?

And it's Monday again

Sarah's echo and EKG came back normal. Well the EKG showed the possibility of some issues, but the echo ruled those out. Given all my marginal history the doctor agreed that it was prudent to have her come in every few years for echos to check, even though he feels she'll be just fine. She does have a functional murmur from the thallasemia. All in all, I didn't realize how worried I had been. Sarah was a trouper throughout though, she was scared, mainly because of all my heart tests but the doctor was awesome and explained everything thoroughly.

We volunteered at the school Saturday for a garden cleanup and mural prep day. We have now primed the wall for the still non existant mural. Now I just have to hope it doesn't rain too badly in the next month.

I'm back

Did you miss me?
Life kind of got in the way of any journaling there for a while.

We tentatively have a gestational surrogate. Shhhhh. Don't jinx it.

We wouldn't be starting a cycle till July of 2009 however. That seems so far away. But if the first cycle takes then we would have a spring 2010 baby.

IF we can afford it.
IF the surrogate says yes still.
IF it works.
IF I can handle the stimulation drugs.

So many ifs.

I'm getting my tubes tied. I don't want birth control and fear of pregnancy to ruin my life. So, sometime before the holidays I'll get it done. I've already got the call in to my OB/GYN.

I took Sarah to the doctor today. Her teacher had commented to me how tired she always seems in class. I've noticed the same thing, that she is just really, really tired during the day. She still sleeps about 11 hours a night. So we saw good old Dr. Brooks today and voila, her iron levels are at 9.6. Normal is over 11.5. Unfortunately she also has beta thalasemia so iron pills aren't likely to increase her levels. We can supplement to make sure she has the necessary building blocks to raise her iron levels, but I don't know that it will work. I think it's because my iron levels don't seem to correlate to when I have high iron/low iron diet or supplementation. Thalasemia sucks. Well, thal major would suck worse than thal minor. Given her father and my history of heart issues, the doc also agreed to my request for an echocardiogram.

The cardiologist he referred her to was mine. I'm not sure if I want this group to do her echo or if I'll try and change it to Children's Hospital Oakland. I'm glad we'll have a baseline echo to track changes and make sure everything is all right.

Work is iffy. No one seems to be buying in this economy. I got back from the ABC Show in Vegas and nada. The call backs and emails I was doing did a bit, but not much. Not very much follow through. Orders kind of sucked. And after the economic news this week there's no way I can start calling and pressuring stores, "Hey buy my stuff!!"

I'm going to try and find a part time job for while Sarah is at school. If I can just make enough to pay for the surrogacy, that takes alot of pressure off of Frank. It's not fair for him to bear the brunt of all this and the business just isn't making enough to pull in profit.