Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Chronicles of Suck

I feel like all I do is chronicle the suck that has come into my life. I'm like a virtual Dyson, sucking the joy out of people's lives, one word at a time.

While F does not have cancer, there is still a mass where it shouldn't be. His hormone levels are consistent with primary testicular failure. The prognosis for producing any sperm is pretty much zero. Hormone replacement isn't really an option because it will basically shut down any hormone production that is already going on. Surgery is not an option. So, we're stuck. We're here in the fun, fun world of male factor infertility, female inability to carry pregnancy and what's left? No surrogacy. F has not made peace with it yet. He'll get there, I'm already researching so I can figure out next steps.

S had her first dental visit yesterday morning. There was no need for me to schedule it early so she could get back to school, she felt so crappy that she stayed home all day. We watched TV, went to my work, hung out, got stuff done etc. She now has a beautiful shiny silver molar and two fillings that are indistinguishable from her other teeth. She was NOT a happy camper.

I have a root canal in an hour. Joy. Then a therapist appointment later today for me and S. That is the most positive thing I can think of. Oh, and no other doctor appointments for the week. Wooo.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Bullet Points

  • Dad's surgery went well, he had three pockets of infection, but they were well contained
  • S needs 7 fillings, not 9 and only one possible pulpotomy. We're doing it over 3 visits with laughing gas. whew
  • FSH and LH levels were very high, which leads to the idea of WTF is going on?
  • But, it's NOT CANCER

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Too Much

Dad seems to have an infection. He's going back into surgery in an hour, they'll open up the incision and see if there's a pocket of infection or if there is more gangrene in the gut.

I'm picking S up in a few to take her to the pediatric dentist. Not looking forward to this.

Crossing fingers it's all going to be okay.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Holding pattern

We visited the urologist yesterday. Quite a nice guy, the nicest guy you'd ever want to violate your husband. He was the kind of guy I'd invite over for a beer and hanging out.
He thinks it's not cancer.
He's not sure though.
We're waiting on bloodwork results and then we'll have more information.
We told F's parents last night. It turns out his mom might have taken DES during her pregnancy with him. Frak.
If it is cancer we've caught it at the earliest possible stage.
For some reason, that makes this more do-able.
It still sucks, but it's ok.
My SIL is being induced as I type. By the end of today I'll have a new niece.
My friend just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. An oops baby that will change her life. She's so sad and scared and upset and just kept telling me how sorry she was. I told her not to be, that I can be happy for her and sad for me at the same time. She's worried about the attention this will take away from her 12 month old. I just wish I could give her the certainty that this will be ok.