Bloglist thingie

I'm working on my list of blogs I read. I figured I could compile them in one place instead of just trusting my mac to always know what I'm thinking of when I type a few letters. So bear with me as I work my way through my serpentine thought processes of what blog leads to what. And you might just find some interesting reads out there.

timing

I guess I was mistaken thinking that F wasn't ready. He asked if we could start filling out the homestudy paperwork. :) Now the real work begins.

Here's the last pic of the mural though. It's at Mary Farmar School in Benicia if anyone wants to come look. There's a League of Women Voters Garden tour starting at the school on Sunday, the 26th at 11:00 too.

annnd I'm back

Well that was a nice break. Spring has come and we've gotten out of our cold weather gloomy funk here. We've had a bit of a heat wave for the last few days so I'm ready for winter again.

Updates by topic:

My health= holding steady doing well. Yay for no news and no more suckiness. However I would recommend NOT doing a zoom tooth whitening. I had one done on Monday since I'm getting a crown next week and thought, hey, shouldn't I have my teeth as white as possible? But man it hurt and it hurt and my gums are burned. blech. And it was expensive to boot. So, in my experience, not worth it.

The kidlet= is doing well. Shhh, she might hear. We have taken a few trips and focused on spending good time with her and it is paying off. We're being more open and frank talking to her about her feelings when she visits her dad and it's helping. She's more able to calm down instead of be awful for days. And the skies open and the sun shines and angels sing when that happens. She's going to be in 2nd grade soon, finishing up this year with a bang. We painted a mural at her school this weekend. I need to finish up some details, but it's getting there. It has been a long time coming, I recieved the grant for it last June. @@ at myself.

F= had his 3 month follow up ultrasound in March and there has been no growth. Woohooo for that. So for now, we just keep on keeping on and go back in June for another U/S. He's feeling better and more positive now. Now, we just need to really discuss adoption and how it would work for us. But he keeps skirting the issue. So I think he's not ready yet. Which is a bummer for me, but understandable.
Before and after pics up above. The after is actually just after one day, not the whole painting. There is a lot more shading to do and more flowers and bugs to put in.

The Chronicles of Suck

I feel like all I do is chronicle the suck that has come into my life. I'm like a virtual Dyson, sucking the joy out of people's lives, one word at a time.

While F does not have cancer, there is still a mass where it shouldn't be. His hormone levels are consistent with primary testicular failure. The prognosis for producing any sperm is pretty much zero. Hormone replacement isn't really an option because it will basically shut down any hormone production that is already going on. Surgery is not an option. So, we're stuck. We're here in the fun, fun world of male factor infertility, female inability to carry pregnancy and what's left? No surrogacy. F has not made peace with it yet. He'll get there, I'm already researching so I can figure out next steps.

S had her first dental visit yesterday morning. There was no need for me to schedule it early so she could get back to school, she felt so crappy that she stayed home all day. We watched TV, went to my work, hung out, got stuff done etc. She now has a beautiful shiny silver molar and two fillings that are indistinguishable from her other teeth. She was NOT a happy camper.

I have a root canal in an hour. Joy. Then a therapist appointment later today for me and S. That is the most positive thing I can think of. Oh, and no other doctor appointments for the week. Wooo.

Bullet Points

• NOT CANCER
• Dad's surgery went well, he had three pockets of infection, but they were well contained
  
• S needs 7 fillings, not 9 and only one possible pulpotomy. We're doing it over 3 visits with laughing gas. whew
• NOT CANCER
• NOT CANCER
• FSH and LH levels were very high, which leads to the idea of WTF is going on?
• But, it's NOT CANCER
  

Too Much

Dad seems to have an infection. He's going back into surgery in an hour, they'll open up the incision and see if there's a pocket of infection or if there is more gangrene in the gut.

I'm picking S up in a few to take her to the pediatric dentist. Not looking forward to this.

Crossing fingers it's all going to be okay.

Holding pattern

We visited the urologist yesterday. Quite a nice guy, the nicest guy you'd ever want to violate your husband. He was the kind of guy I'd invite over for a beer and hanging out.
He thinks it's not cancer.
He's not sure though.
We're waiting on bloodwork results and then we'll have more information.
We told F's parents last night. It turns out his mom might have taken DES during her pregnancy with him. Frak.
If it is cancer we've caught it at the earliest possible stage.
For some reason, that makes this more do-able.
It still sucks, but it's ok.
My SIL is being induced as I type. By the end of today I'll have a new niece.
My friend just took a pregnancy test and it was positive. An oops baby that will change her life. She's so sad and scared and upset and just kept telling me how sorry she was. I told her not to be, that I can be happy for her and sad for me at the same time. She's worried about the attention this will take away from her 12 month old. I just wish I could give her the certainty that this will be ok.